Location:

207 Queens Quay W, Toronto

Cost: $10-15 per entree

Take a look at their menu on the site, here:

www.boathousegrill.sites.toronto.com

Now...

Yes, the food tastes as bad as it looks on the menu.

Let's see, where should we start? Perhaps with the veggie burger?

Vegetarian Burger - soy based vegetarian patty made from our special recipe (which one would that be, the especially gross one?) and topped with caramelized onions, roasted red peppers and feta cheese 9.99

Pardon me, but are those slimy, slug-like onions, caramelized? AAH, I see! And the giant-ass dollop of feta cheese? Was that to mask the fact that this is ultimiately a giant, rugged piece of leather?

Wait, how about that Caesar salad...

BoatHouse Chicken Caesar - crisp Romaine lettuce and garlic seasoned croutons tossed in our house caesar dressing, topped with grilled shaved breast of chicken 11.99

The word 'seasoned' was a typo, I'm sure? Or meant to be taken very lightly? Or did you mean perhaps the winter season...very stark, bland....cold?

Let's move on to the pizza then.

Tucson Pizza - Grilled breast of chicken, roasted red peppers, caramelized onions, seasoned tomatoes and goat cheese 12.99

Oh lovely, managed to get "caramelized" and "seasoned" altogether in one sentence, eh?

And that, um, bottle of seasoning...must have been all out, hmm? Or perhaps used up on the wings??

Chicken Wings - "Plump chicken wings, tossed in seasoned flour and fried to golden perfection. Served with your choice of hot, medium, mild or honey garlic sauce. 1lb - 12.99. 2lbs - 19.99

'Fraid not! Again the word "seasoned" used so carelessly to describe what is probably a mixture of flour and what, salt? Let's take another look at those carrots, too, shall we?

Please sir, may I have some more? Nay, me thinks even Oliver Twist shan't have wanted more.

Beware, Boathouse Grill is an absolute dud of a restaurant. It's good for a view of the lake, but that can just as easily be taken in with a simple sit-down on the boardwalk with a Timmy's drink & donut. THAT is much more satisfying, I assure you.